


When it Started

by DoneInLove



Series: Had to Start Somewhere [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Background Buck/OMC, But also, Established Relationship, M/M, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Pre-Relationship, buck gets a back story, kind of, not quite a getting together fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 01:03:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21437629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoneInLove/pseuds/DoneInLove
Summary: If anyone would ask Buck, he might say it all started the day Eddie’s not-so-ex-wife up at the firehouse to confront him.If Carla caught Buck at the right moment, he’d probably admit that it actually started the day Eddie ended up bringing Christopher to the firehouse.If Hen ever asked him, with that look in her eye that Buck could never give a name to, he would likely agree that it started getting a little out of hand for him the night he and Eddie took Christopher to see Santa.If Maddie were to push him on the matter, he’d have to admit that it really started to click for him the night she called him out on it.When Eddie asked him when it all started, Buck had to be honest with himself.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: Had to Start Somewhere [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550251
Comments: 20
Kudos: 379





	When it Started

**Author's Note:**

> This took on a much different format than I thought it would to begin with, and turned into less of a getting together story and more of Buck's journey through figuring out his feelings for Eddie and how Christopher plays into it all. 
> 
> Also Buck gets a bit of a back story? Kind of?
> 
> (I literally wrote this in two days every free second I had while at work because it just had to get out.)

If anyone would ask Buck, he might say it all started the day Eddie’s not-so-ex-wife up at the firehouse to confront him. 

At first, Buck thought it was hilarious that his best friend had gotten himself into that situation to begin with. It reminded him of how he was before Abby; always falling into bed with anyone he was even remotely attracted to for no other reason than they were into it as much as he was. But as he watched Eddie and Shannon argue through the glass of the (not very private) locker room windows, Buck realized it went deeper than that. And he decided he didn’t think it was all that funny anymore. There was a connection between those two that Buck had kind of assumed was gone by that point. 

And he was jealous. 

He wasn’t jealous that Eddie had a kind of connection with someone in the exact way Buck was still craving after Abby left. He wasn’t jealous in a best friend kind of way, being worried if Eddie got back together with his wife, that he’d spend less time with Buck. He definitely wasn’t jealous because he wanted a shot with Shannon or anything like that. 

Buck was jealous because he wanted to _be_ Shannon. He wanted to be the one with that connection to Eddie. He wanted to be the person fighting the urge to fall into bed with Eddie. He wanted to be the third person in that beautiful family of Eddie’s. He wanted to be able to fall asleep next to Eddie and wake up curled around him. He wanted Christopher to think of him like a father. He wanted to spend as much time around those two as humanly possible. 

God, how he _wanted_.

The realization shook Buck to his core. Quite literally. He backed himself away from his other coworkers and stuffed his hands in his pockets so no one would see them shaking - not that any of them were paying him any attention anyways. He slipped into a supply closet as quick as possible and slid to the floor as he closed the door, trying to tame his ragged breathing. 

_’Holy shit.’_ Buck thought. _’I think I’m falling for my best friend.’_

\---

If Carla caught Buck at the right moment, he’d probably admit that it actually started the day Eddie ended up bringing Christopher to the firehouse. 

Buck knew from the second Eddie showed him that first picture of his son that he wanted to meet the little man. He wasn’t lying when he said he loved kids, but there was something about that smiling face on Eddie’s phone that pulled at something inside Buck’s chest. 

That same something just about got yanked out when he dropped off Eddie after the earthquake and watched the father and son embrace in that lobby. The feeling only amplified when Buck officially met Christopher as Eddie helped him pile into the back seat of his Jeep. 

But the day Eddie’s Abuela took that spill, Buck was practically ready to hand Christopher that something on a silver platter by the time Aunt Pepa showed up at the firehouse. Buck knew then that he’d fallen in love with that kid and would do anything for him. He didn’t realize until much later that something similar could be said about his father as well. 

The way Eddie almost seamlessly let Buck insert himself in their little family that day. The way those two fit so easily into the rest of Buck’s family at the 118. The way Buck’s old fantasy of his own future family started morphing in his mind to look suspiciously like Eddie’s family; the image of he and Eddie being the ones to catch Chris as the others helped him slide down the pole looking far too domestic for Buck’s heart to handle. 

That’s all it took for Buck to realize he was falling a little bit in love with the Diaz family. 

\---

If Hen ever asked him, with that look in her eye Buck could never give a name to, he would likely agree that it started getting a little out of hand for him the night he and Eddie took Christopher to see Santa. 

Eddie had started inviting Buck to a lot of things involving Christopher and Buck was always eager to spend time with the two. At first, Buck didn’t even think anything of the fact that he and Eddie were taking Chris to something that was typically a family affair. Even as Chris insisted he see Santa by himself and they took their perch to watch from far enough away, it didn’t really click that most of the other people waiting for their kids were cuddled up against each other, holding hands, or doing any number of things that could make it clear they were couples. Buck had gotten so used to being around Eddie and his son that he felt just as natural in that environment as any other parent there. 

Buck did realize how his heart clenched a little in his chest the more Eddie talked about his dilemma with Shannon. He talked through it with him because that’s what best friends do, but he couldn’t help but feel a little vindicated when Eddie dropped the fact that he was sneaking his wife around behind their kid’s back. Buck felt terrible the second he realized how relieved he felt, knowing that she might have been good enough for Eddie to try to patch things up with, but she still wasn’t good enough to be around Christopher. Buck had been spending more and more time with that wonderful child, and his own mother was being kept from him. That thought made Buck simultaneously smug that he was allowed more than Shannon, as well as guilty at feeling that way. 

It’s only when Eddie had collected Christopher into his arms after they greeted him at the exit of Santa’s line that Buck has that last realization. And it came in the form of some poor teenager stuck in a horrendously festive elf costume. 

“You two have an adorable son.”

Buck’s heart soared. There was no other way to describe the way he felt hearing those words. That something inside of him that sings every time he sees Christopher. That something that he so willingly signed over for Christopher to own forever. That something - that absolute love - that made Buck constantly crave being let into Christopher’s world. It could have practically lifted Buck into the clouds by the simple act of being mistaken for Christopher’s father. One of his fathers. The other being Eddie. Eddie being his best friend that he only recently realized he was falling for. 

If Buck were a cartoon character, his heart would have sprung wings and flown him to into the heavens. 

But at the same time, he knew he should correct the girl. He had no claim to Eddie or Christopher in that way. It wouldn’t have been right to take that honor and run with it like it belonged to him. He wasn’t Christopher’s father. He wasn’t raising Christopher with Eddie. He was just the best friend slowly falling deeper down the rabbit hole that was emotional attachment. 

He stammered as he debated with himself about what to say. _’Who would it really hurt?’_ he thought. _’Eddie and Chris are far enough away. This girl doesn’t know us. There’s no harm in a little white lie every now and again.’_

“Uh...Thank you,” he finally settled with, smiling so hard his face started to hurt. Buck figured he could indulge in his wild fantasies for just that moment. He could envision himself as Christopher’s other dad while he caught up to them. He could let that random elf-girl think they were a big happy family just like all the others there that night. Buck let himself be selfish and filed away that little sound clip all for himself. The thought put an unintentional skip in his step as he turned away to catch up with Eddie and Chris, where Buck pretended as long as he could that he was jogging to catch up with his husband and son. 

\---

If Maddie were to push him on the matter, he’d have to admit that it really started to click for him the night she called him out on it. 

“So does this boy crush on Eddie mean that you’re finally ready to move on from Abby?”

Buck had just given his sister a signature Buckley _look_ and made a snide comment before she moved subjects. But her smartass question struck a chord he wasn’t expecting. The rest of the night, Maddie’s voice rang back and forth in his head, her question pulling up a comment she made to him when he was in college that he hadn’t thought about in years. 

“I wonder if your roommate realizes how much of a boy crush you have on him, Evan,” Maddie mused after her brother had finished telling her yet another story about how amazing and talented and smart his roommate Devin was. 

At the time, Evan brushed her off and shot down her crazy theories about him and his blooming friendship with Devin. He was adamant that he only talked about Devin so much because he admired him and that she was definitely reaching with the many assumptions she was making. 

Buck had almost completely forgotten about that conversation until Maddie made her joke about him and Eddie. 

Buck couldn’t help but think back to everything that happened throughout his and Devin’s years at college. When they’d met, Buck was still going by Evan and dreaming of becoming a Navy Seal. He also hated Devin’s guts at first. 

Due to a huge miscommunication, Evan’s first meeting with his roommate wasn’t exactly amicable. He was a complete ass for what turned out to be no good reason and made one of the worst first impressions of his life. Luckily, Devin had an easy temperament and forgave quickly. It helped that Evan’s peace offering came in the form of a smuggled bottle of his father’s best vodka.

Within weeks, Devin and Evan had found that many of their interests were shared by the other and began spending a lot of time together. Evan also found out that Devin was in the top ten from his graduating class, had a killer academic scholarship because of it, played four different instruments all well enough to place at music competitions, and was the most doting big brother he’d seen from someone his age in a long time. He couldn’t help the fact that he was a little in awe of his roommate, and the fact that he told Maddie almost everything meant that she got to hear a lot about Devin. 

By the end of their freshman year, Evan and Devin had become practically inseparable, which led to Buck getting his nickname to avoid confusion over the similarities in their names. Evan embraced his new nickname and began going by Buck almost exclusively, even when Devin wasn’t around. It had, in a way, become a part of him by that point. 

Both boys had also been embracing the fact that they were young, attractive, and single. It wasn’t uncommon for them to leave parties or bars with at least one girl on each of their arms. And before long, they got so comfortable with each other that they no longer cared if the other wanted to ‘use the room’ which they were still in it. As long as the girl didn’t mind, Buck or Devin didn’t even bother leaving the dorm when the other went at it. 

The first time one of Buck’s hookups suggested Devin join them, the two boys looked at each other and just shrugged, laughing. Devin put his book down, pulled off his shirt, and crossed the room to two eager sets of arms. 

It became a much more common thing than Buck ever imagined, but he figured if he was a girl, he’d probably jump at the opportunity to have two beefcakes shower him with that kind of attention too. 

Sometimes the girls would suggest that Buck and Devin show each other some of that attention. Buck didn’t think too hard about it; he mostly got off on his partner’s pleasure, so if she got all hot from him kissing another guy and feeling him up a bit, sure, that could work for him too. Devin seemed to not mind it either, so if that’s what the girl wanted, they obliged. There was an unspoken agreement between them that they wouldn’t go lower than the waist, and it wasn’t brought up until well into their junior year. 

They had gotten an apartment together at the start of that year, just off campus, and just shitty enough that they didn’t feel like they were completely wasting their money. 

It was towards the end of the first year they lived in that apartment that things really started changing for the two. Eventually, Devin ended up finding himself in a somewhat serious relationship with a girl named Morgan, which left Buck on his own in the hookup scene around campus. Buck was happy for his friend and doing just fine finding girls to sleep with on his own; it’s not like he needed Devin there, it had just become a common occurrence over the years. 

Buck remembered quite clearly the day things flipped on their head for them. 

Devin had come home in full blown panic mode. That panic turned into Buck trying to decipher what happened so he could give his friend advice. The advice had turned into a bit of a confessional for Devin. And those confessions turned into Buck and Devin sleeping together, finally without a third party involved. 

It happened a handful of other times over the following few months. Devin always had some kind of excuse and Buck was never too worried about how flimsy they sounded, even if he did always feel guilty afterwards for enabling Devin to cheat on his girlfriend. One time, after a long period of it not happening at all, Devin’s excuse came afterward, when they were lying in Buck’s bed again, catching their breath. 

“Morgan thinks it’s hot.” 

Buck was confused, but about to crack a joke about the weather anyways when Devin looked him in the eyes and said, “She wants you to join us sometime.”

Then _that_ went on for a few months, Buck almost like a third member of their couple. But before long, Buck noticed he was missing something from their whole arrangement. Devin and Morgan had a strong bond that wasn’t shared with Buck in the same way, and Buck himself didn’t exactly have anything particularly deep for them either. He decided he would do no-strings-attached just fine, that he could probably do strings-firmly-attached if he found the right person, but he couldn’t keep doing the whole strings-sometimes-kind-of-attached thing with Devin and Morgan.

They went back to being friends and Buck went back to sleeping with anyone he was even vaguely attracted to. Buck was Devin’s best man in 2015 and still smiled softly to himself every time he came across pictures of those two.

But he never told Maddie. 

He never gave her the chance to rub it in his face that she was right about everything after all. 

It’s not that he didn’t want to admit that he liked men. Buck eventually found comfort in his bisexuality and still occasionally slept with guys, even though finding women to sleep with was far easier and they ended up being his typical target. 

Buck wasn’t entirely sure why he never told Maddie. He thought it was probably mostly out of spite. Why let her have all the fun in rubbing it in just how right she was, when he could just keep that little secret wrapped up tight and never have to deal with the ‘I told you so’ that would surely come? But he knew that another part of it was that it didn’t feel important when he wasn’t really doing long term relationships anyways. And even after he decided to turn into Buck 2.0 and leave the casual sex thing behind, he didn’t think it was likely that he’d settle down with a man any time soon. 

That is, until Maddie insinuated that Buck had a crush on Eddie. 

That brought so many parallels between Buck’s history with Devin and his developing friendship with Eddie. So many parallels that Buck’s head went spinning the rest of the night, trying to figure out if he was exaggerating the connections or being oblivious to what was right in front of him. 

They do say that history always repeats itself. 

\---

When Eddie asked him when it all started, Buck had to be honest with himself. 

Buck laughed and laid his head on Eddie’s pec to hide his blush. “As cliche as it is, it all started your first day at the 118.” He could see Eddie smirking out of the corner of his eye and kicked his foot a little bit under the covers. “Hey, I couldn’t help it, okay? I was practically peacocking about that stupid calendar thing and all of a sudden, the most attractive man in the world is standing in front of us, barechested and so beautiful even Hen had to comment on it.”

“So you were jealous?” Eddie asked, playing with a loose piece of Buck’s hair. “That was your real issue with me, wasn’t it?”

Buck groaned. “Don’t remind me. I was such a jackass. But you were obviously so much hotter than me to start it off, and then you had to go and be amazing at the job your first day on. I was feeling threatened for some reason, and I made a total ass of myself.”

“I’m still partial to the moment you tried to tell me to respect my elders. That was pretty great.”

“Listen, I didn’t mean that as an age thing, okay? I meant it in a who’s-been-here-longer kind of way. Chimney just loves to make me look stupid.”

“Hey,” Eddie said softly, putting two fingers under Buck’s chin to angle it upward. Buck rolled his eyes and chuckled before looking at Eddie. “I’m just joking. And I don’t think you’re stupid, like ever.”

“I know that,” Buck said, smiling gently and reaching up to place a soft kiss on Eddie’s lips. 

“So you say it all started my first day at the 118. Was it just the initial attraction?”

Buck shrugged, rolling more onto his side so he could look at Eddie without completely covering him with his own body. “At first, yeah, but underneath the jealousy was a kind of infatuation, almost. Especially once you volunteered to remove the grenade from that man’s leg. That was really the moment I realized you were something truly special that I needed to keep in my life. Then when I met Christopher, I think it sealed the deal, even if I didn’t realize it.”

“I love that you love my son so much.”

Buck sighed happily. “I love that he called me Dad the other day. I think it was by accident, but I almost started crying right there in the cereal aisle.”

Eddie turned so he was laying on his side as well, and cradled Buck’s face in his hand, smirking. “It wasn’t by accident. He asked me if he was allowed to call you Daddy too, and we decided together that Dad would keep it from getting too confusing. I promised him I wouldn’t tell you yet so he could make it a surprise. He said it was totally worth it. You must have had quite the look on your face, babe.”

Buck felt the tears well up again and bit his lip. “Fuck. I don’t know if you know how much that means to me.” 

He felt Eddie wipe at his tears before saying softly, “I know how much it means to me. He loves you, Evan. That boy loves you and thinks of you as his second father. And that means the world to me.” He leaned in to kiss Buck firmly, as if solidifying his point. When he leaned back, he asked, “Wanna know when it all started for me?”

“I think it’s only fair,” Buck joked, his heart still somersaulting from the previous conversation. 

“The day Abuela fell, when we were back at the firehouse and Cap walked up. I thought for sure he was about to ream me for bringing my kid there while we were all on the clock like that. But then he said that you gave him the head’s up so he could clear it with the Chief. You knew him better than I did, and knew that he wouldn’t have a problem with it, so you took it upon yourself to sort things out for me. You got rid of a problem I didn’t even want to think about, and it turned out not to be much of a problem anyways. But you still did that for me. For Christopher. I’m pretty sure that’s the day I started falling a little bit in love with you, Evan Buckley.”

.

**Author's Note:**

> I had such a hard time wrapping this up, because I could sit here and wax poetic about how much Buck loves Christopher and how Eddie loves that he loves his son and how Christopher loves his two dads and so on and so forth. So maybe that'll come in a later story if my heart decides to explode about it again any time soon. 
> 
> Also, if anyone is interested, Buck's backstory with Devin ended up with a mind of it's own and I have another almost 3k about their whole situation. So if you were curious about Devin's "confessions", I'm probably going to post that whole thing in a few days once I clean it up a bit. It will either be Mature or Explicit, depending on how much it wants to run away again.


End file.
